So, last week I finally put the finishing touches on the interior files for my book and uploaded it to Createspace. After several disagreements with the Interior File Error Fairy and the Cover File Error Fairy, I finally managed to upload a file that we were both happy with and was then able to click the magical ‘Order Proof’ button. With $35 less in my bank account (I know! $35! Ridiculous! They had better come wrapped in gold leaf, that’s all I’m saying), I’ve been patiently waiting for them to arrive.
And while I’ve been waiting, I’ve come up with a list of things that could be done with said proof copies when they arrive …
1. Arrive at the post office to pick up the parcel that was too big to fit into your teeny tiny letterbox and exclaim loudly,”Oh these must be my proof copies” in the hope that everyone in line hears you.
2. Take the parcel from the post office and go directly out for brunch with friends. Pretend like the parcel is nothing important until one of your friends asks what it is, then exclaim “Oh I think it is just my proof copies. Unless it is that new dress I ordered to wear to my book launch? Perhaps we should open it?”
3. Take proof copies home (carefully!) and gaze at them adoringly.
4. Move them to different positions around the house and gaze at them adoringly.
5. Check their appearance next to your other books on the shelf. Take this one step further by taking them into a bookstore and seeing what they look like on the shelf there.
6. Leave on coffee table and invite your best friend Jimmy and his Aunty Mabel over for coffee, casually drawing attention to your book at regular intervals.
7. Carry around in your handbag and use them to casually fan yourself in hot weather.
8. Change outfits several times to see which matches your book cover best and then take a few photos for good measure.
9. Make a fancy dessert and then knock one of your proof copies so that it almost lands in it, before exclaiming, “Oh my! The proof was nearly in the pudding!”
10. Actually try to read one and try to spot any mistakes. This will be hard – (a) because you’re so bedazzled by the fact that your book is in your hand looking like an actual book and (b) because you’ve read the jolly thing so many times by this point that you wouldn’t be able to spot a mistake if it jumped up and bit you on the behind.
11. Give one to a proof reader to take a proper look for mistakes!
11A. Fix mistakes.
11B. Login to Createspace and either upload your updated file (and repeat steps 1-9) or Click ‘Approve!’
11C. Do a little dance. (Holding proof copy, optional.)